


Rude Awakening

by perclexed



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Lewis Frightfest 2015, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-28 23:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5110142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perclexed/pseuds/perclexed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tossing the paper on the table, he puts the kettle on, sleepily pulls the cafetiere out, and reaches for the ceramic canister of coffee that lives beside it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rude Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Tehomet for the lovely beta work, as always. She makes me readable, I swear. And to Owlbsurfinbird, for _reasons_.
> 
> Please also see the end notes for warnings/additional tags/spoiler.

A long, well-muscled arm snakes out from underneath the tangle of covers and plucks a phone from the nightstand. Bleary eyes take in the time, and a pout graces a mouth before it’s feathered over the cheek of the bed’s other occupant in a tender kiss. 

Robbie barely stirs as James gingerly replaces the phone on the bedside table, rolls out of bed and indulges in a long, heartfelt stretch. Scrubbing his hands through his wildly mussed hair, he yawns and pads to the kitchen to start the coffee. He doesn’t reach for his glasses, and it’s far too early for contacts. Thankfully he can see well enough without them to navigate their home.

After retrieving the morning paper from the doorstep, James wanders back into the kitchen to start the day. They’re off the rota per Innocent, after yesterday’s unexpected and somewhat harrowing adventure. Tossing the paper on the table, he puts the kettle on, sleepily pulls the cafetiere out, and reaches for the ceramic canister of coffee that lives beside it.

His fingers have just touched the cool surface when a queer, feathery touch skitters over the back of his hand. He pulls the canister closer to his face to get a better look.

Later, James will deny that the sound that came out of his mouth could best be classified as a shriek. Echoed a heartbeat later by the sound of the splintering crash of the ceramic container first hitting the edge of the worktop by the sink and then shattering into many, many pieces.

“Robbie! _ROBBIE!_ **_ROBERT!_** ”

*****

Robbie starts awake to an unholy noise, but he leaps out of bed at the sound of something shattering. He pauses only long enough to grab the cricket bat from where he’s tucked it in a corner, and charges into the kitchen, brandishing the bat threateningly.

Blinking furiously, he takes in the scene. 

It looks like a small explosion has taken place. There’s pieces of crockery all over the floor and in the sink, and what looks to be their supply of coffee grounds strewn over the entire floor. The kettle’s been knocked off the base, tipped over and a puddle is spreading over the counter, but after a darting glance at the surroundings, most of his focus is captured by his beloved.

Who’s standing on the kitchen table? And staring in frozen horror at something at the end of it?

“James?” Robbie hopes he can be forgiven if his tone comes out a strange mixture of befuddled, annoyed, and rough with sleep. “What the bloody hell is going on?!”

James points, hand visibly shaking, at the end of the table. “It’s huge. And it’s right THERE! Oh god. It attached itself by web to my hand and it’s _after me_. Kill it. KILL IT!” 

Robbie wouldn’t have thought that someone over six feet tall could quail in terror and try to become one with a wall, but James is doing his best. He lets the bat drop onto his shoulder, and scratches his head as he looks down at the table.

Okay, perhaps the lad has a point. That is a rather large spider.

“Robbie, _PLEASE_.”

The genuine fear in James’ voice spurs him into motion. “All right. Hold on. I’ve got it.” Robbie sets the cricket bat down on the floor and slowly reaches for a water glass left on the table the night before. There’s not much more damage a bit of water is likely to do at this point, so he dashes the remaining liquid over his shoulder and slowly lowers the glass towards the spider.

He pauses when James says in a very small voice, “I didn’t mean it. Don’t hurt him.”

“I won’t hurt him. Promise.”

Poor thing actually cringes as the glass comes down, pulling its legs close in to its body, but it’s conveniently already standing on the paper, and Robbie has no trouble containing the arachnid. 

He does, however, bite his lip in amusement as he takes in the headline and the picture underneath their new friend. James looks quite determined and serious, but it’s a nice shot. Just over his head are the words _Oxford’s Hathaway bravely saves children from deadly fire!_

Robbie looks up at his brave lad, who is staring back at him with wide, frightened eyes. “There. He won’t be going anywhere just now. Hang on a tick while I open the window, yeah?”

A strangled sort of squeak issues forth as Robbie moves to the living room windows. “Please hurry. Please, please, please.” James is chanting the word and his hands are clenched so tight that his knuckles are white by the time Robbie steps back up to the table, presses down on the glass and gently gets a hand under the paper.

Moments later their uninvited guest has been evicted to the outdoors, and the window firmly closed. “He’s gone now,” Robbie says soothingly as he sets the glass and the newspaper back on the table. “C’mon now, canny lad. Let’s get you down from there.” He rights the overturned chair and offers James a hand. “Step on down here and give us a hug.”

James doesn’t so much step down as he sort of crumples against Robbie once his feet are back on the floor. Robbie can’t help the fond, amused smile that stretches his mouth at the death grip James has got on him. Returning the hug, he soothingly strokes James’ back. “You’re all right. It’s all right.”

Long moments later James pulls back enough to pepper small, grateful kisses all over Robbie’s face. “My hero.” 

Robbie rolls his eyes and pulls James in for a proper good morning snog. Eventually they come up for air and James releases him. “I didn’t know your voice could hit that register,” Robbie says, which earns him a filthy glare. 

Looking over Robbie’s shoulder, James bites his lip and makes a sound of despair. “Why did it have to be on the coffee? Now we’re out of coffee!”

Robbie can only shake his head. “I’ll take care of cleaning this up. You go on and get showered while I do that, and we’ll head out for breakfast and hit the shops for some coffee.”

“Put some shoes on first. And why do you have a cricket bat in the bedroom?” James tosses over his shoulder as he heads to the bathroom.

“This isn’t America! We don’t need a gun in the house,” he calls back as he slips his feet into a pair of shoes near the door. He can hear the water go on and he’s just retrieved the broom from the cupboard when an echoing crash sounds from the bathroom.

“ ** _ROBBIE!_** ” The sound of bare feet slapping against the wood floor precedes James, clad in nothing but a towel, and he skids to a halt in front of Robbie. His imperious pointing back towards the bathroom is somewhat ruined by the shaking hand and the quaver in his voice when he says, “Shower. Please?”

Robbie covers his eyes briefly with his palm, and then slides it down over his mouth to hide the smile he can’t contain. Yep, that’s his awkward sod all right. Leaning the broom up against the table, he collects the glass and the newspaper and goes forth to do battle once more.

“Open the window for me, would you?” he calls as he heads down the hall.

“Are you kidding?” James says incredulously. “The other one is lurking right outside!”

Robbie just sighs and captures the second spider of the morning. Luckily this one isn’t much bigger than a 10p piece, but James still edges away from him as he crosses the room to the window. The other spider is, in fact, clinging to a tall bush just outside, but doesn’t move when Robbie opens the pane and gently tips their other visitor out onto the ledge. He closes and secures the window, and turns back to James.

Who’s standing with arms crossed and with a truly thunderous scowl on his face. “We’re moving.”

“No, we are not,” Robbie sighs, exasperated. “I’ve checked the bathroom, there’s no more sneaking about. Get yourself washed and dressed, and then we’ll go find some coffee.”

“Rude awakening,” James grumbles. 

Robbie can’t resist that plush lower lip, currently thrust out in a ridiculous pout. Long, satisfying moments later and he eases out of the kiss and takes a step back. Glancing down, he doesn’t bother hiding his grin at the effect he’s had on James. The towel isn’t hiding much at all.

“Look at it this way. The sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can come home and go back to bed.”

James glowers, but turns away and starts to head back to the bathroom, clutching the towel and the tattered remains of his dignity around himself. It’s just too tempting, and Robbie doesn’t bother stifling a sudden, mischievous impulse. Crouching down, he reaches out and very lightly skitters his fingers up the back of James’ calf.

James immediately shouts in horror, and whips the towel off, shaking it frantically and doing an impressive jig for someone who’s woken up less than a quarter of an hour before.

Robbie guffaws, and then has to throw up an arm to defend himself as James starts whacking at him with the towel. “That isn’t funny! You know how much I hate spiders, Robbie!”

His laughter winds down as he straightens up and takes in his partner. James is standing in the living room, stark naked. His hair is mussed, eyes narrowed, fists clenched and there’s an attractive wash of color over his cheekbones spreading halfway down his chest, perhaps from embarrassment or exertion.

And he’s still hard.

Robbie feels a jolt of desire hit him low in the gut, and something of what he’s feeling must show in is face, as there’s no resistance when reaches out to pluck the towel from James’ suddenly nerveless fingers, dropping it to the floor. He places his other hand in the center of the flush on that lovely chest and gently shoves James in the direction of their bedroom. “How badly do you want coffee this morning?”

James, no fool he, smirks and pretends to consider his options as he gracefully sprawls on the bed, idly stroking his cock with one hand as Robbie kicks off his shoes and scrambles to remove his pyjamas. “Could do with a bit of comforting after all that, I suppose. I have had a terrible fright this morning.”

Finally naked, Robbie crawls onto the bed and covers that long, lean body with his own. Running his hands down James’ arms, he laces their fingers together and then pins James’ hands to the bed next to his head. “Bet I can make you forget all about them spiders,” he growls into James’ ear before gently nipping at the sweet spot on his neck.

“The what?” James murmurs breathlessly before speech becomes quite simply impossible.

**Author's Note:**

> Additional tag/spoiler: Arachnophobia
> 
> No spiders were harmed in the making of this work.
> 
> I learned, as I was brainstorming ideas for this, that I am not great at writing super suspenseful or scary things! But this is my real life, everyday kind of terror idea, and Hathaway's a canon arachnophobe, and so here we are.
> 
> Totally click the related link work by Owlbsurfinbird below. You'll love it. I promise.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [James and the Spider, A Comic Companion to "Rude Awakening" by Perclexed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5121431) by [owlbsurfinbird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlbsurfinbird/pseuds/owlbsurfinbird)




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